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(a) loose brain thread (b) from a hole in my diningroom

from the cut​-​ups of a paper woman by brad hamers

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lyrics

loose brain thread

scribble hearts paper life crumpled face the wrinkle in my stopwatch
counting cigarette drags and cars on the freeway streetlights pissing on the streets
the radio’s some soft spoken hitch-hiker just talking to himself in the backseat
our silence dresses loud and gets strange looks in the toll light
driving myself nowhere the half written road map i keep finding direction in
lost lost lost all the ink in my brain can’t finish the book i bought to read on vacation
thoughtless and wearing the same clothes lonely in a rush hour buzz
leave me and my breathing machine out of this half made robots
the hair on my head is growing more metal gray days fucking crayons on a box spring
writing in circles dull pencil shaving itself in the bad bathroom light
the rest of the day is what i paint it
blue a kiss red a novel fell in love with a stranger and spent our time figuring out how
to get out before we starved to death my wishes got clogged in the well
plumbing pipe dreams cracked out and burnt around the edges bad décor letter hallmark
the writing on the wall because halls aren’t rooms and don’t have furniture
can’t catch a breeze standing behind a window people need separation and dieing flowers
and i can’t have problems unless they fit into a capsule stupid party hat
tape dub dialogue fuck weather and whether or not you feel like sunshine
standing on the corner selling itself -
12 hours for a thousand dollars you can do with it where you want
i just wanted pictures with it when it was leaving for its honeymoon
lemon dreams read the words scrolling across the screen
when i grow up i want to be a decomposing corpse the centerpiece at brunch
comment on the pretty wallpaper i couldn’t be me if i wrote a to-do list
and bought a pack full of bulletin boards
the nail stuck in my head is the song i’ll sing
until the sun says fuck it and jumps from the bridge
i’ve got a condo view of a postcard moment take photo here memory flipbook bad cartoon
infomercial 32inch mind set shopping for a cheaper way to make tomorrow fit
into my schedule without sucking in its gut the pride i swallowed gave me heartburn
and the rest of the town came out to watch me fall to pieces under hydrant showers
and cloudy skies nuclear fallout summer in the house drinking beer
and playing the air conditioner loud dancing to the sun beating on a parking lot
half naked cars my morning jog the dolly camera shot i record over each day
doing the same thing wearing a different mood driving an old ambition
eventually gas prices will be too high for me to make it anywhere

my car’s a pen





from a hole in my dining room

i’ve been watching this woman with a sewing needle
pick her threads apart

she’s been stuck on this knot in her arm

the coming undone was always advertised as easy
the beach billboard
your shitty hotel in paradise
the broken pool chairs and the
floating feeling in a deep end half full of polluted beach water

ocean in a one bedroom apartment

two drowning children
pulling the covers closer to your face in the winter

asleep tangled in loose string

credits

from the cut​-​ups of a paper woman, released May 7, 2021

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